RISK TRANSFER
South Philly front
stoop social club
We share some beer
& laugh into the
night / Words
failing in our need
to express
our fears, or why
we’re sitting here
waiting
on the destruction
of everything
How much is a
concept of security
worth to you?
By which I mean
fuck the police
Existence legitimized
through buying power
Public space closing
in favor of commercial
development
The city calls
its citizens taxpayers
& installs dividers
in the middle of
park benches
to keep people
from lying down
& staying too long
We sit
on the stoop
& ask who said love
can save us?
Can love save us?
The day passes
before us
Shards of glass
& splintered wood
scatter
across the street
as the garbage truck
crushes an old mirror
& lets the refuse fall
RISK TRANSFER
my elementary school
RISK TRANSFER
my elementary school
was condemned & I grew
into my delinquency the gun
shook in my hands
do you ever think twice
before taking a drink of water
it’s easy to forget
your own body what
it needs
to keep going
all day we roamed
the streets broke
into construction sites
smoked cigarettes in the woods
behind K-Mart dearest
sister
you have not been forgotten
tell me how
old you were
when the anger went away
please tell me it goes away
RISK TRANSFER
RISK TRANSFER
Because we were surrounded by emptiness, a lack
tearing through everything, a lack
defining who we were
Because we carry the trauma of empty buildings, deserted streets, condemned schools,
defining who we were
Because we carry the trauma of empty buildings, deserted streets, condemned schools,
& shuttered factories
The weeds push through the pavement, reclaiming playgrounds & abandoned houses
Because leaving meant a chance at a future that might not end in early death
Because leaving meant straining relationships with those who stayed
You think you’re too good for us now?
Because the options were few or there were none at all
Because we didn’t choose this
Because I grew like a weed through broken pavement
& carry the trauma of empty buildings, deserted streets, condemned schools & shuttered
factories no matter where I go
& into every relationship
Because I will never feel worthy enough or deserving
Because this life was not meant to be mine
3.3.17
Today at the store
The weeds push through the pavement, reclaiming playgrounds & abandoned houses
Because leaving meant a chance at a future that might not end in early death
Because leaving meant straining relationships with those who stayed
You think you’re too good for us now?
Because the options were few or there were none at all
Because we didn’t choose this
Because I grew like a weed through broken pavement
& carry the trauma of empty buildings, deserted streets, condemned schools & shuttered
factories no matter where I go
& into every relationship
Because I will never feel worthy enough or deserving
Because this life was not meant to be mine
3.3.17
Today at the store
I used my phone
to calculate equivalencies
how many ounces
in a cup
simple things I never
learned & I still managed
to make a mistake
came home with
16 more ounces
of chicken broth than
needed / M would have
a field day with this
making fun of my mistake
& I would feel embarrassed
dumb & unworthy of his love
And it would be true
I’d be dismissed
because he couldn’t
see a future with me
I don’t blame him
I can’t see my own future
never have tried to live
much beyond the present
Why was I with him
anyway? He didn’t even
like Nina Simone, which
should say everything
He said she’s too intense
As if intensity in a woman
is not to be admired
or perhaps a little is okay
but not too much
To be singularly focused
It’s not arguing
It’s just a conversation